Battletoads (1991)

Battletoads

So the polls are closed and you guys voted for me to try Battletoads for the NES. I had heard of Battletoads before starting this, especially how the difficulty made kids throw controllers and yell at the TV in rage. It was released in June of 1991, and I was born in December, so it barely manages to be older than me. Now before I start, I would like to say thank you guys for all your feedback and support, but seriously why would you want me to go through this kind of torture? I thought Contra was hard, and now I spend around 10 hours on this game and only managed to get half way through before finally giving up. And then I see this runthrough and I just want to cry.

While reading the manual, I was glad to find that the developers had a good sense of humor, naming their characters Zitz, Pimple and Rash. I'm not sure how provocative the games usually were when I was born, but I have a feeling the Dark Queen was a little risque for her time. So the Dark Queen has kidnapped Pimple and his girl-toad, and it's up to Rash and Zitz to save them.

These things were annoying, but not impossible

Game Commentary: After the first level, I thought that people must have been over-exaggerating the difficulty of this game; I didn't die once and had a fairly easy time blowing through the enemies. The "Wookie Tunnel" wasn't anything overly difficult either, so I was beginning to have my doubts. And then all my doubts were shoved back in my face, I was thrown to the ground, and then repeatedly kicked while I was down (figuratively speaking). The "Turbo Tunnel" was extremely difficult for me; if I hadn't found the warp in the first level, I would have given up there. Because I could warp there from the beginning of the game, I spent the next two hours just trying to get past this tunnel. I never actually fully beat the level, and instead accidentally ran into the warp and couldn't believe it. I jumped up and down yelling and cheering with such enthusiasm that my family came to check on me (they thought that I had won a lot of money or something like that). I honestly couldn't remember a time when I had been so happy that I had cleared a level. Clearing the first level on Contra was gratifying, but did not come close to how I felt at this time.

I never stopped to wonder why there was a Kangaroo riding a
rocket, trying to drop blocks on a toad riding a hoverbike

The next level was slightly easier for me, only because the 1UPs allowed me to not have to start the game over again. The mini-boss at the end seemed way to easy after the torture I had just been put through, but nevertheless I was on to the Snake Pit. This is where I started raging uncontrollably and literally almost broke something. I do not understand why the developers thought the 2nd and particularly the 3rd part of the Snake Pit would be a good idea, unless their goal was to make people hate them with a passion. Those of you who have played this, you know what how I felt when I over-jumped the Exit and landed on the spikes... When I finally ran out of continues the 3rd time through, I couldn't convince myself to go any further. And thus ended my futile attempt at beating the infamous Battletoads.

So close, yet so far away!

What I Loved: This game was really fun if you weren't concerned with dying, having to start over or generally progressing through the game. The fighting mechanics were very nice and the animations were very funny (who doesn't want to see a toad slam a kangaroo into the ground and kick it repeatedly in the face?). The humor in the game was entertaining when I wasn't too busy yelling at the game or the controls. It was also nice how each stage presented something unique and interesting (yet ridiculously hard) about it, be it climbing and jumping on snakes to "surfing" your way around whirlpools.

What I Hated: How unnecessarily difficult this game is. I played half way through the game and already was ready to break some controllers, and it only gets harder from there. It would have helped tremendously if there had been a save system that allowed you to not have to start the whole game over, but I have heard that saving systems were never heard of in NES games.

My General Impression: Now many of you have read my Contra post and know that I have gained an appreciation for harder games, but this was a little lot over the top for me. The gameplay was really enjoyable and the humor was subtle but still funny, but the hatred I had for the developers when I stopped playing was too great for me to continue to appreciate these parts of the game. Many of the later parts rely on memorization (and luck), but when you have to play through the whole game to practice these later levels, it becomes extremely frustrating.

I genuinely enjoyed this game and would recommend people play it, but I would definitely warn them to not take it too seriously and not to expect to beat it or else controllers will be thrown and things will be broken.

**Edit: This game has some of the coolest pause music I've ever heard **